z is for fabled zeitgeist

z is for zeitgeist.  i think the word zeitgeist sometimes get misused as meaning fashionable or popular where zeitgeist means "the spirit of the times" fashion is something people try to keep up with but it is more important to stay open to the zeitgeist rather than mindlessly following fashion.

i know that today post was a bit short and a bit philosophical but this is what happen if i try to wright about something  beginning with z

now go by a fabled mug i guaranty there not fashionable

Y is for fabled Yule-time

Y is for Yule-time aka Christmas aka blogmas aka today

HAPPY BLOGMAS EVERYONE 

 now because I'm lazy heres some Christmas stuff other people have posted on you tube

x is for fabled x-factor

x is for x-factor well it had to be really because i don't have much to say about x-rays.

i don't think i will surprise you when a say i don't like this show or any of this generation of "talent" show that have spawned from Popstars
the first reason i don't like these shows is the lack of song writing I'm assuming that even if a singer song writer did turn up for the x-factor auditions they wood still be made to regurgitate the songs of others instead of  showing off  the full rang of there talent
at this point i feel the need to bring up MobileAct unsigned/Orange unsignedAct which did have real bands on who wrote songs and played instruments (including some friends of my brother hence why i watched the first series) but the show was a bit shit and if i remember right did evan show the full songs

the second reason i don't like these shows is judges who get paid (probably an obscene amount) to pull faces and make rued comments while unpaid contestants provide most of the shows contents

i could probably come up with more if i watch these shows but i don't so i'll move on to the main i hate x-factor. you can't avoid it ,i don't watch but i still know what happens on it because for some reason it gets reported on the news as well as repotting on every detail of the contestants lives and emergency  news flashes whenever simon cowell farts

w is for fabled whereabouts

when it snows heavily in the uk the whole country grinds to a halt and being the fabled idiot i of course think i can solve the problem (or at lest ease it)
when it snows heavily the first thing reported on is the amount of schools that are not opening because the teachers can't get it but i think it's important to note most of the kids wood have no problem getting to there school in the snow because the kids need to live near the school to get a place there so the question is why shouldn't  a teacher have to live in the catchment area to get a job there?
or for that matter why shouldn't most jobs have a catchment area?
and if they did wouldn't regain some of that community spirit I'm tolled we had in the good old days
wouldn't a local employer not be more inclined to get involved in local education if it was improving the next generation of employes wouldn't they care more about local health care if they know it gave them a healthier  work force.

and on top of all that wouldn't the pressure to the country's infrastructure be significantly less if people lived nearer to where they work

v is for fabled vegetables

v is for fabled vegetables but i'm not talking about normal vegetables i want to talk to you about irregular vegetables knobbly potatoes and wonky carrots, i have seen this subject come up on a number of tv shows and the situation is this supermarkets won't accept anything "prefect veg" because they say people don't buy it and the farmers can't sell the veg the supermarkets won't buy because they have to sing an exclusivity deal with a supermarket to get a price they can live off . after explaining this these show usually head to a small town center armed with a wonky carrot and asks  members of the public if they wood buy wonky carrots and they all say "yes" (well all the ones they show do)

they never address the way veg is displayed in supermarkets which is an a mounting of constantly replenished vegetables. now in this situation you are not going pick the wonky carrot are you

so how do we solve this problem well i can think of tow options one ban exclusivity deal between farmers and there buyer or change the law so the buy with of produce with exclusivity deal can't refuse any good fit for human consumption and they will have to work out a better way to sell it

u is for unisex

u is for unisex the tv is full of ad for stuff to make you smell because it all most Christmas i do get confused by the need to assign gender to bottled smell or anything else for that mater there not many thing that are truly gender specific women can safely use German engineered shampoo and men can wear skirts      if they so wish but what i find most baffling is make up for men if a man wants to makeup i am talking about guyliner and manscara if your a man and you want to wear makeup  you don't need a gender based pun to do so if your comfortable wearing makeup you comfortable buying it without the pointless wordplay to push the price up

buy my unisex mugs

t is for fabled tourism

t is for tourism, i am once again steeping in to help the UK economy let have a big party in fact let have 3 big party one in England on St George's Day one in scotland on St Andrew's Day and one in Wales on st David's Day  and invite everyone over to get drunk this seams to work for Island this should work partially well with St George's Day because St George is the Patronages of Saint of all most everywhere so we could play host to bands and entertainers from Romania, Bulgaria, Aragon, Catalonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, India, Iraq, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, Serbia, Ukraine and Russia and let there fan spend there hard earned money in our pub and music venues and probably sell an obscene amount of things shaped like red buss, red phone boxes. and red post boxes

s if for fabled shoelaces

i being little and going shoe shopping and looking for shoe that do up with Velcro because i hadn't mastered the fine art of shoelace tying i am pleased to say i have been tying my own shoelaces for some time now but what is so wrong with Velcro why have mens shoes resorted almost exclusively to shoelaces as the fastening of chose (i cant remember the last time i saw a buckle on a mans shoe)
in design make some so easy a child could do it is usually a good thing but walk down the street with Velcro fastened shoe no one is going to look impressed at your well design footwear,

mugs in my shop as always  

r is for fables resignation

some thing that has confused me time and time again is why when a politician, high ranked civil servant or a CEO of a large company screws up they get the opportunity to hand in there resignation when anyone in the real world wood have been fired. why should they have the dignity of making a polite public statement before slipping out the back door. they should be given a cardboard box and told to clear there deck before being escorted out the front door were the press can take photos of of the holding the mottos of the blown career and bombard they with questions to which the answers will undoubtedly be no comment.

Q is for fabled Q?

in school i was told q is always followed by u but i was never told why, this just seams like a wast of ink to me
oh and it not true here a list of word containing Q not followed by U thanks to wikipedia
i'm never going to trust a teacher again this is i before e except after c all over again

p is for fabled pavements

i know my train of thought can start somewhere normal and end up at an ode station and so listing to people on the radio talking about ugh boot can result in me thinking that pavements shouldn't be paved in which case maybe we should call them sidewalks like our friends over the pond do. (but there is no such thing as an eggplant)

so basically someone was on radio 4 say ugh boot are bad for you if you wear the outside because they don't absorb the impact from the hard pavement and this over time can damage your joints. i though this was a bit unfair blaming it all on the ugh boots and not asking why ground outside if harder that the floor inside.
and this started me thinking what is the point of incasing our walkway in concrete,stone of tarmac and the only thing i could think of was to stop our shoes getting muddy. but i could think of a number of reasons not to
1. cost: i hate to think how much taxpayer's money we spend on paving every year
2. health: not just the ugh issue but think of all the people who end up in a and e after tripping over a uneven paving slabs. (this also means less cost for the NHS
3. drainage. more rain water being absorb by the ground would mean less strain on the sewer system
4. biodiversity: i shore more things live on the bare grown than on a pavement
5. maintenance: if the ground get to uneven you can just shovel some more dirt down and when to need to dig it up to get at something underneath you don't need a nosey Jackhammer

if any one can give me a better reason for having hard pavements please post a comment

ps. mugs mugs mugs

o is for offended

o is for offended
the dictionary on my computer defines offend as: cause to feel upset, annoyed, or resentful
my question is the isn't it wrong to expect to never feel upset, annoyed, or resentful. do we need to call for people  who make offensive comments to be disappeared of our tv screens. should't we just use these comments to trigger an rational debate and make our own points in a calm and rational way.
for example i was offended by the way offended people reacted to Jeremy Clarkson's joke on the oneshow so i made my point in this blog post

 buy my mugs here

n if for fabled news

n if for news. i do like to know what is going on and watch the news most days but the news always find a ways to irritate me
1. reality tv news, i don't need to be told on the news what is happening on the various reality tv shows if anyone who wants to know wood watch the shows. so these "news stories" are glorified adverts or just filler
2. baby/animal news, this story is the same everyday ;  baby/animal was sick/in an accident but is better now/getting better isn't he/she brave.
3. duplicate news, bbc and itv have the news split in two the "national and international news" and "the local news" we don't need the same story on both with the exception of where the local people need additional  information for example roads closed around a major incident.
4. everyone is watching this youtube video so we are going to show it on the news. this is news reporting at it laziest.

you can buy my fabled mugs here

m is for fabled multiculturalism

m is for multiculturalism way back in february David Cameron said "multiculturalism has failed" and i thought i'd take this moment to call our pm an idiot if he looks at his own wikipedia page it wood remind him that his great-great grandfather Emile Levita was german but if he wants a more up to date example he may want to look at his deputy how has a Dutch mother and a Spanish wife. or maybe just maybe he could go for a walk though the street of Britain hang out in a british pub and wittiness people from all round the world who most of the time mix with each other just fine yes integration can be a bit clunky and yes there are Muslim extremists and white supremacists out there but surely it there "monoculturalism" that has failed time and time again

ps David Cameron's 5th cousin is also married to a Greek
(well that what wikipedia says)

get your hand on my mugs here  

l is for fabled longevity

l is for longevity for years the food industry have pumped food full of stuff to make it last longer were as other industries seam too focused on cutting cost at the expense of longevity. i think longevity is something we should all be awhere of packaging should give a easement of how the produce should last and we should give reward for long lasting produces

k is for fabled kitchen

k is for kitchen. tv is full of show about buying and selling houses.  and when watching these shows (most the time out of boredom) i notice that everyone on them semi to want a massive kitchen and i don't rely know what the do with them, in university my share of the share of the kitchen was 2 cupboards 1 drawer a shelf in both the fridge and freezer and mange just fine. clearly restricting outside a shared houses situation wood be a bit over the top but clearly some people are going to far in the other direction i don't know if these people buy an obscured amount of stuff to fill up there miles of cupboards and drawer or just spread there stuff out ever way they should stop.

if you want to fill up a unutilized part of your kitchen buy a mug here

j is for fabled junk shop

j is for junk shop
the hight street is as dead as can of spam and we need to breath more life in to it and i think more junk shops wood help because they don't stock is not mass-produced (or at lest no longer mass-produced) making it easier fore them to compete with the internet  and because any one evan remotely  human enjoys a good rummage though a junk shop ebay just doesn't have the same feel of discovery

buy a mug

i is for fables intelligence

i is for intelligence. the name of this blog was an accident of Anagrams but i really don't mined being the fabled idiot because i wouldn't want to live in a world where someone of my intelligence was considered smart because i would therefor have to assume that the vast Majority are less intelligent than i am and that wood scare i the shit out of me. no i am happy to be considered average or lower. this however doesn't stop me from trying to become smarter and more informed i just hope everyone else is doing the same

get you hand on fabled idiot mugs here

h is for fabled homophobic

h is for homophobic and because I'm dyslexic i am also homophobic but it not homosexual a have a problem with  i have never meat a homosexual i didn't get on with (not that a check the sexual preferences of people i don't get on with) no the homos i have a problem with are homophones

A homophone is a word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning. The words may be spelled the same (these ones are ok with me) but some are are spelled differently are also called heterographs this are the one that piss me off. can any one out the tell me why on why do we need more one spelling for same pronunciation? other than to try and make people like me look thick. if you are can tell the difference verbally why wood (would) you need an extra clue when the same thing is written down.
that right we don't these unneeded spellings should be lock in a cupboard only to be let out by Susie Dent as interesting factoids on countdown.

hay why not buy one of my mugs

g is for fabled globalization

to day i'm talking about globalization.
Opponents of globalization "alleged that globalization's benefits have been overstated and its costs underestimated. Among other points, they argued that it decreased inter-cultural contact while increasing the possibility of international and intra-national conflict" (that what international web encyclopedia wikipedia tell me) os im going to stay away from big things like global bank transaction taxes but suggest we get together and agree some little thing on a global scale. at the next big shindig at the UN why don't we flip a coin and diced what side of the road we are going to drive on, why not put all the electric plug and sockets designs in a hat and pick one out for the whole world to use, why can't my feet be the same size in every country?

mugs

f is for fabled fiction

im dyslexic and when i was at school i had to read a lot of book with a support worker to improve my read which brings us to f in the fabled alphabet fiction i was in high school when the Harry Potter book come out and kid walking down the with a massive book was not uncommon. were as the reading martial selected for me by the learning support department was wafer fin book with a bright illustration on the front from which you could determine the whole plot. these book were shit and yet the support worker were surprised by my lack of motivation to read such drivel. so at this point i will point out something that rely should need to be point out
people will be mover motivated to read a book if its a good book
so if you work in the learning support department why not treat your student like the intelligent individuals my shore they are and find a book they will enjoy.

now go by a mug

e is for fabled electricity

yesterday i saved the British economy today i'm going to save the would from global warming with e for electricity. the government encourages us to become micro power plants with the Feed-In Tariffs before quickie changing the rules. but i can't help noticing the lack of public owned building generating there own power and sell the extra to the grid. are school not a grate place to start large building with large roof space which are empty in the hight of summer is there a good reason why we are not covering them with sola-panels which will pay for themselves and then keep on paying? and what about the libraries,council offices, prisons. courts, should will not demand this building start making some money when there is an ethical way for them to do so? and just in cases you don't buy the global warming thing this will help bring down your energy bill no-matter what you believer

just too remind you i'm not an expert and this is just an opinion
now go buy one of my mugs

d is for fabled dubbing

d is for fabled dubbing and today i'm stepping in to save the British economy (not that anyone going to listen) using dubbing. there is a lot of tv show and movies not in English and quite a lot of countries speak English. so why don't we buy the international distribution rights for foreign tv and moves dub them and sell the broadcasting right on to the other English speaking countries. the up sides to these are it use little or no raw materials, Britain has plenty bilingual residence to translate, just about anyone can be a voice actor (we may need to get them an equity card) and most impotently if we get in there before the Americans they will be in proper English

i should point out i'm not an expert in distribution rights,broadcasting right or the economy and this my be a shit idea but i do know the difference between jam and jelly, and that you don't need a helmet and shoulder-pads to play football.

previous posts you my be interested in
Import export
import export:2

buy mugs here

c is for fable chimneys

c is for fable chimneys i may have misled you on Thursday when i said i was going to talk about chimneys. a chimney is "a vertical channel or pipe that conducts smoke and combustion gases up from a fire or furnace and typically through the roof of a building." and this is not what I'm talking about today. a new block of flat (they call them luxury apartments) is now visible from bed room window. now i'm not one to bitch about new build ruining my view (all i could see before was a bus depot) but on top of this building are thing that look like chimneys but they can't be chimneys because the flats don't have fireplaces. they as useful as an emergency flare in a black whole . ok so maybe there purely aesthetic reasons, I'm an artist and i understand that it's important to make thing aesthetically pleasing i also understand Symmetry and proportion. the "chimneys" on the roof of this building are not Symmetrical or evenly spaced but would  be if one of the "chimneys" was removed (at lest on the side facing my window) it as if they had a spare and decided to sick it on for the hell of it and it just look a little bit odd which bugs me a little bit


god i'm sad and i haven't even mentioned the odd "balconies"


hay why not buy a mug 

b is for fabled baths,fabled basins,fabled bidets,fabled blue?

day two of the fabled alphabet and b is for bathroom as well as several items in them baths ,basins ,bidets (if your too posh to wash your arse in the basin like a normal person) and bogs, but where have all the blue ones gone (or peach) if you click on last two links you will see that bathstore.com UK's largest bathroom retailer don't do blue(or peach) or any colour. i find this white toilet obsession very odd and more odd is how property and makeover shows seam offended by a non white bathroom and clearly am not alone in noticing this


if your in need of a bathroom suite you could buy this or this or maybey this on ebay at absurdly cheep prices in fact if you have room to store them why not  buy them all  and hope they come back in fashion then you my make a nice profit
or you could just  buy my mug from my zazzle store (they are white)

 

a is for fabled alphabet

all you avid readers of ianbyfordart.blogspot.com will no the arrival of December means the start of blogmas my annual festival identical to Christmas in every way a part from spelling and pronunciation and i celebrate this by bloging daily until blogmas day and this year I'm going to be posting daily here as well as on my art blog.
my blog post here will be themed alphabetically. I'm not 100% shore what am going write about yet i have made some notes but still have a lot of gaps but just as a teaser  i can tell you i will be talking about chimneys and pavements (i bet you have never been this excited)
and mugs a-z are all in my shop now

fabled letterbox

do you get to much junk mail flooding through your letterbox do you get pestered by door to door salesmen who swear they are not trying selling anything
well you will be glad to hear i have come up with a solution that may stop this irritating you ever again
if someone want use my blogs to advertise they pay to do so.
well thats your door there using to advertise why should they use it for free?
so i suggest you put up a price list

£10 pre leaflet/flyer
£10/min for  doorstep sales pitch
(even if you clam your not selling anything)

now I'm not a big city lawyer and have no legal training but it is my expert opinion that if someone stick a pizza leaflet through your letterbox you can phone the number on the leaflet and demand payment
(ps I'm not an expert)





fabled letterbox by ianbyfordart

fabled time travel

if your a fan of dr who you will know that some points in time are fixed and can't be changed but apparently the time dr who starts is not one of them. way can't the bbc just pick a time slot  and show it at the same time every week instead of starting at 7.15 one week and 7.05 the next. the bbc must see the logic in keeping the same time slot because they do it with all there major shows monday to friday so why does this not extend to the weekend! this is not a new problem the bbc have had an oddly shifting saturday schedule of some time but to make things that bit more irritating they have stopped telling you at the end of the program what time it's on the next week.
now i know i can buy a tv guide or check the times on line and if i miss it there is the i-player but the question is if the bbc can make there schedule more consistent (and i can't see a reason why they can't) why wouldn't they?
at this point i will say this would probably of irritated me less if dr who wasn't proceeded by shows where the last 5-15 minutes your accidently watching is 90% dramatic pauses.

fabled time travel by ianbyfordart
See other Fabled idiot Mugs

if i had: dress up box

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

Oscar Wilde

the "if i had" i had planned is taking a bit too long so I'm putting it of to a later date and as i was try to come up with a idea for a quick to put together the movie i was watching  on youtube quoted the quote i just quoted this on top of the fact i have just been to a very strange gig and had a conversation with my brother about making helmets (stormtrooper & daft punk)  

i think it was obvious a higher  power (I'm guessing yoda) was telling me to do a blog post about dress up

so with a imaginary budget of £200 i set of to fill my dress up box

British S10 Gas Mask 29.95

110cm straight Wig - red brown 39.50 because your hair can never be too long

Deluxe Military Jacket -  39.89
Mini Top Hat 14.56
Bullet belt 3.09
SNAZAROO PROFESSIONAL FACE PAINTING KIT  34.00
Novelty Tattoo Sleeves 2.79
FAKE CLIP ON NOSE RING EARRING PIERCING JEWELLERY 2.99
Feather Angel Wings Black 65cm 22.35
Gothic Style Wings, Red, Large 10.71 

import export:2

i have just watched the first two episodes of Wilfred staring Elijah Wood Jason Gann but i can't help thinking i should of been watching Wilfred starring Jason Gann, Adam Zwar and Cindy Waddingham
previously i posted that 

"although English is the primary language of numerous country we import TV programs from very few of them.We have an overwhelming amount of programs from the us two  soap operas from Australia but I can’t think of any programs from Anguilla, Antigua and Barbuda, the Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, the British Indian Ocean Territory, the British Virgin Islands, Canada, the Cayman Islands, Dominica, the Falkland Islands, Gibraltar, Grenada, Guam, Guyana, Ireland, Jamaica, Montserrat, Nauru, New Zealand, Pitcairn Islands, Saint Helena, Ascension and Tristan da Cunha, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Singapore, South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands, Trinidad and Tobago, the Turks and Caicos Islands currently on our box"

since then we have had Angry Boys air on BBC 3 but i don't know why they are now sowing the us version of wilfred and not the Australian original . i never really understood  why it is we let the yanks remake shows, (it's money isn't it) are us audiences confused by the existents of other countrys will there brains not except an englishmen not waring a hat (bowler or top) or a Australian without corks hanging off his. i am shore most Americans are not that thick but there TV executives clearly find it hard to believe.
and if I'm in the UK watching Wilfred USA is Australia  watching Life on Mars USA or Shameless USA . I really hope not

well I'm  off to make a British version of How I Met Your Mother staring Simon Amstell as Ted, Emma Watson as Lily, Simon Bird as Marshall, Olga Fedori as Robin, Stephen Fry as Barney and narrated by Brian Blessed

import export 2 by ianbyfordart

fabled advertisement

as you may know from earlier posts I'm always trying to scrape a bit more money out of my life one of the things i had avoided doing was sponsored tweets i though what the hell and gave it a go and so far my followers are still following and i have made $0.14 which sadly is better than i get from the ads on my blogs so now I'm getting asking  for your opinion on sponsored tweets.
I'm still not shore i like sponsored tweets and if my income was more stable they would be the first to go (assuming it's not sponsored tweets doing the stabilizing) but if they were hated I'd have no followers and would not have made a whopping $0.14
please leave your opinion of sponsored tweets in the comments

fabled advertisement by ianbyfordart

if i had: fabled security

if i had is back after a longer than usual brake and the theme for my shopping list is security for topical reasons and for the same reason I'm not setting a budget for my fictitious shopping spree but i am going to try to be quick, i need to get back to my fabled home before someone brakes in an stills my Teaset.

CnM CCTV 500gb Kit H.264 4 Camera System street value £278.99

High Resolution Spy Camcorder Pen with 4GB Internal Memory & Built in Battery street value £24.99
FakeTV Burglar Deterrent Device street value £26.89
Yale Small Sized Electronic Home Safe with LCD screen street value £30.99 i'll keep my spy pen and fake TV in it,
Spy Gear Security Scanner street value £19.14 ok it's only a toy but it's still cool
Concealed Black Vest Bullet Proof Body Armor Vest w Stab Proof Stab resistant Vest 24 Joules Level 3A Size S Small ballistic, kevlar, bullet resistant jacket Israeli Made, IDF, Zahal street value £430.00

fabled security by ianbyfordart
I may be an idiot but i don't condone 
rioting and looting